Happy Tears

Gertrude Mbetsi taking a break one day at the Mapusha studio.

I cry a lot, a musing after the school shootings in Connecticut. 

Maybe it’s genetic, as I see it in my siblings who haven’t spent near the time and energy I have uncovering and cosseting vulnerabilities. At first it was stories, books and movies that made my eyes well up and spill over with tears, then it was boys and personal pains but I find in my 7th decade more often my tears are ‘happy tears.” The phrase was coined with laugher in the weaving coop by Gertrude, the oldest, sturdiest and most outspoken of the women. She ran her fingers down her cheeks, then pointed at me, laughing, “Happy tears, you cry happy tears.” Soon all the women in the coop understood the phrase and we chuckled about it together. 

She’s right, I do. Invariably, when I hear the women singing together tears roll down my cheeks which is what Gertrude was referring to. It’s not only the beauty of their blended voices but the way they come together, sing together and the great heart I always feel in this cooperative communion. It touches me.

As far as I can tell, the women of Mapusha rarely cry themselves, not at death, not at birth not at any of the other indignities in  their lives of rural poverty. But, last year Gertrude came to me and said with a proud smile, “I cried this weekend, happy tears.”

I laughed and asked what made her cry. 

“ I watched Eulender (her 15 year old grand-daughter) running in a foot race for her school, when she passed me by I could see how hard she was trying,” she touched her chest with her hand, “ Her heart was so very strong.  I cried.”

Smiling, I nodded, I understood. 

This weekend the continual coverage of the killing of twenty first graders plus brought many tears to my eyes. I cried for what I could only imagine was a terrifying loneliness in the killer and for the shocking grief of the whole community. As the tears rolled down my cheeks, I could feel all the millions of people in these gun-filled states we live in whose eyes filled with tears this weekend. It isn’t happy tears this time but it is a sign of caring and compassion. It is a national communion, of sorts. 

I’m beyond embarrassment at my own tears whether they are the mark of a genuine sap or the response to the continued assaults on my staunch idealism or, maybe simply the stigma of caring and caring intensely. 

My prayer for this new year is for an ever stronger heart, boundaries stretched so that the well of caring grows deeper. May I shed hundreds and hundreds of tears.  

The image I hold for the world is that in this new year we increasingly join together like a gigantic youtube flash mob. More and more people becoming proclaimed members of the official network of caring and caring immensely for every blessed being and this whole world of ours. May we find a million ways for the net of our caring to be strengthened so all the pains and losses are increasingly shared, absorbed and absolved in cooperative communion.

Happy tears to all! 

Gertrude's rugs

Holiday Greetings from Mapusha and me,


Dear Friends of Mapusha, 

I wanted to give you a year end report on our favorite weaving coop as they wind down their work on Friday with a great feast, courtesy of friends here in Portland. It will be a braai, for sure, with much meat for everyone, pap and some sort of small nod to vegetables. The extra bonus is that each woman will take home a live chicken for their family's Sunday dinner! So think of the celebration on Friday when you wake up, smile as though you could hear their singing, dancing, praying, celebrating. They are, in part, celebrating the many acts of kindness and generosity that have come their way through all of you. 

I'm pleased to report that small and big miracles continue to abound for these women,  strengthening everyone’s faith.When I walked into the Tillamook’s Pioneer Museum last month and saw the walls hung with Regina, Lindy, Lizbeth’s weavings I felt such a burst of pride. Their work is beautiful and has evolved over the years I've been with them.  They made it through the year once again with a small salary each month for each woman, despite no coherent marketing plan. And, this January, thanks to the generosity of a woman from Alaska who has never even met the weavers, we will break ground on their new studio. It will be off the mission grounds, within the New Dawn community complex where currently the Katlego nursery school, the Seeds of Light Art Center and the soon to be refurbished Community Center  will join forces to become a true community hub, a center of support and empowerment for all.

Nick Verona (Seeds of Light volunteer) hanging the New Dawn sign, Gertrude with Zanile on her striped rugs, Lindy's Tillamook tapestries

When I was there in September talking with the architect, getting permission from the local chief, etc, etc. I boxed and sent home nine of Gertrude’s small striped rugs (picture of Gertrude with rugs and Zanile above). Four are already gone but I have detailed the others below, so if you or someone you know would like a bit of Gertrude’s Africa on your floors please let me know. They are approximately 2 1/2’ by 3’, hand spun and dyed Karakul wool, woven by Gertrude - $100. I could send or deliver immediately.

If you really don’t want a rug but do want to support the women in the launch of their new beginning, you can send a check made out to Mapusha Weavers, c/o Barrie Gleason, 109 Summer St., Somerville, Ma. 02134. I am hoping to start work with them in January on some new sales items especially created with visiting tourists in mind - small bags with beads and bells, natural dyed silk scarves.  All donations this year will go towards the time and materials necessary to bring our new products from vision into a reality, ready for sale in the new studio where we hope to have many visitors.

me with the women on the steps of the Blyde Lodge after our Visioning Day!, the bird and animal mobiles for display, women with new natural dyed scarves

It is strange for me to be here for the holidays. Each time I see a particularly lavish display of lights I imagine  how the children of Rooibok would respond - absolute enchantment. I set off in early January to manage this studio building project and do all I can to get local marketing happening for Mapusha. One could ask are these two actions truly within my skill set?  The answer is “They soon will be!”
 creche child,                               art class kids playing where the new jungle gym will go!

Having been a hermit of a writer for the last year I am relieved to report that I’m handing my book over to an editor before I take off. I look forward to returning from Africa in April with the new studio up over there and ready to go out into the world myself, here. I hope to see all the friends I haven’t seen for too long and see how I can bring my own unique brand of inspiration to this side of the world. 

My Mapusha story would have been very different without the support of all of you. It’s a great story of what can occur when people join together. The words in Tsonga on the  New Dawn Center sign say just that - Working together we have power!  
The women of Mapusha asked me to “Please thank our friends so very much.” So from us to all of you a most heartfelt thanks.
May the new year bring joy, inspiration and many blessings to you.

with love, 
Judy 

Pictured below are two rugs woven by Gertrude Mbetsi this fall in the Mapusha studio. They are simple, sturdy rugs, 2 1/2' x 3', hand spun Karakul wook, hand dyed and woven by Gertrude.

The cost is $100 and the benefit is supporting the Mapusha Weaving Cooperative and having something made with such craftmanship and care.

If you would like a rug please note the description and send me an email - judithbmiller@gmail.com

greens, peach, navy

soft purple, grey, rose

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